The Department of Mysteries
This is a retyped version of this article. The first version was unfortunately lost, but this is pretty close to the original
The Department of Mysteries (DoM) is well, a mystery. Allegedly the wizards who work there, known as “unspeakables” are mysteries themselves.
The Unspeakables
We’ll talk about the unspeakables first. Who are they? That’s hard to say. Supposedly when you apply for a job there, if you’re accepted, you are instructed to forget your identity. Then you are issued a new one from their database. This is what we are lead to believe from the books. It could be that you are issued a new name, but can still use your old one… If you don’t tell anyone what your job is.
What do the unspeakables actually do? That’s easy, they research various subjects. Read book 5 again. Back already? did you notice the different rooms? They all had some sort of experiment in them. So the unspeakables are basically scientists. Most likely scientists that work on controversial magical subjects, like time — or those brains.
The Brains
Those weird brains, what’s with them? Why are they there? [Author's note: Do I really want to know? Maybe not...] Luna said they were “Aquavirius Maggots”. We know this is not true for two reasons. 1) They’re brains. 2) When has Looney Lovegood ever been right? My best two guesses are as follows. 1) The ministry wants artificial brains so they can swap-out someone’s brain. This would allow them to create a mindless army. 2) They’re the brains of people who have either witnessed the horrors of the DoM or have in some way annoyed the Minister of Magic. 3) They are being preserved. They could contain valuable knowledge or something weird like that. 4) Pickled brains are a popular wizarding delicacy.
The Veil
This one’s got loads of wonky theories tacked on to it. What exactly is that weird veil thing that Sirius fell through? According to JKR, it is NOT for execution, and she will jinx anyone who says otherwise. The room itself looks like a wizengamot courtroom, except there’s a stone dais in the center. Odd isn’t it? Sounds the opposite of what JKR says (I’m not disagreeing JKR! No jinxing will be necessary!). Harry had a strange feeling that there were people on the other side of the veil, even though there’s just empty space behind the stone dais. There was a faint whispering from behind the veil that no one but Harry and Luna could hear — remind you of the thestrals? JKR is going to have a lot to explain in book 7! Oh yeah, it may be called the Death Room as well. After Dumbledore duels Voldy, he tells Fudge that there are Death Eaters in the “Death Room”. Remember what the unspeakables are? Scientists. Could it be a portal, or device for communicating with the dead?
The Time Room
The Time Room is one of the coolest rooms in the DoM. Since prophecies are related to time (and because to get to the Hall of Prophecies you need to go through the Time Room) I’ll place all my prophecy data here. First up, the bell jar. What is it for? I have no idea. It could be for changing the something to a previous or future state (as “demonstrated” by the Death Eater and the bird in the jar). The cabinet of Time Turners is self-explanatory, so I’ll move along to the Hall of Prophecies. Did you notice the label on the prophecy about Harry?
S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D.
Dark Lord and (?) Harry Potter
A.P.W.B.D., that’s Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. From this you can probably figure out who S.P.T. is.
Now that you know about all this, I’ll have to… Obliviate!.
